PAYASITA POLITICO

The call-them-as-I-see-them political thoughts of a 28 year old mom. WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS STRONG POLITICAL OPINION COUPLED WITH SARCASM AND SATIRE. HOPEFULLY IT WILL OFFEND. NOT FOR PEOPLE WITH HEART, LIVER, OR KIDNEY PROBLEMS. OR METROSEXUALS.

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I'm a crack-ho lazy mom who vacillates between feelings of inadequacy and delusions of grandeur. I am not bothered by kid snot, garlic breath or Bob Dylan's voice. But pinch me with your toes and I will probably kill you.

Saturday, November 08, 2003

Saudi Attack

Maybe it is just because I am, or at least was, in a mellow mood that this has struck so deeply. I am kind of devastated by this. There is no justification. If America is wrong for being at war, then so are the jihadists who are carrying out these guerrilla attacks. The difference is that the guerrilas attack civilians who are not able to be defended. All I can say is that regardless of what happens overseas, I will support our troops. And if it ever comes to defending our own home turf, I will be defending with guns blazing. I believe that America, in principle and actuality, is the greatest country ever founded. I am so grateful to be in this country that I will do whatever is required to protect it. Fuck Israel; Fuck Palestine.

I don't give a shit about either point of view anymore. I wish we would leave them both alone and let them kill each other off. After Israel is anihilated the Arabs will tear each other to pieces over it, our revenge will be complete, and we will have had no part in it. Sadly, America seems to want its place in history to be in the middle of the bloodletting. So be it. I will support my country regardless.

I am going to go and cry now. Over and out.

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Halloween

Jethro and I went to a Halloween party on the day. Other than having a drunk woman ask if she could squeeze my breasts, I had a lot of fun. As parties that I attend inevitably do, it meandered into the realm of the political. Not to toot my own horn or anything, but I came off pretty well. It probably had more to do with the fact that if a drunk gal in a corset manages to say something clever, people (guys especially) tend to listen. Four margaritas to the wind and I can wax fairly eloquent. It started on the American flag. Someone was talking about how they felt silly putting one up since they weren't sure how they felt about the war. Now let me just say that no one can make so succulent a statement without me jumping in. It is truly what I live for. I asked why that made any difference. They said that they did not want to seem as if they were supporting the current administration.

This forcefully reminded me of a nauseating little mutual masturbation session between Phil Donohue and Tom Brokaw. It was not long after 9/11 and Phil was interviewing Tom on his now defunct talkshow on MSNBC. Mr. Brokaw was commenting that he wouldn't wear the American flag on his lapel because he, as a journalist, didn't want to seem as if he was supporting the Bush administration. Phil congratulated him on his patriotism.

At the time, Jethro and I almost wet ourselves laughing. They were so sanctimonious in their determination to not be seen as supporting Bush. But after a few days, the reality struck me that this was the fundamental difference between the right and the left. When Mr. Clinton was in office, Republicans proudly put up their flags on the appropriate days as they have done through the decades, oblivious to the ridicule of the left who can't seem to look at an American flag without retching. Brokaw's little comment revealed his slanted opinions far more than a flag would have. Any person can wear the flag without it binding him to an administration. Republicans certainly didn't feel bound to Clinton and they never had a problem with the flag. That is the beauty of this country - that our Constitution transcends petty little things like administrations. Brokaw could wear the flag to honor the freedom of the press - a freedom (not to mention an industry) that was first guaranteed in America. But that would focus far too much on the good things that have come out of our country and lord knows how dull that is. The nightly news would end up as the graveyard news.

Boy did I digress. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I won the night with the reluctant flag waver. He was staring at my breasts the whole time, so I can't be sure he took in every nuance of my brilliant argument; but when I jumped up and down while making an enthusiastic (albeit slightly drunken) point, he nodded in unison. I have high hopes for him.

Bedtime. Goodnight sweet ladies.