How To Upset A Hippie Without Even Trying

Oh where to begin?

I took my Protest Warriors to a little event on Galveston Island about 2 weeks ago. Apparently, about 6 or 7 resident moonbats make it a point to protest the Army/Navy recruiting station once a month. This month they were met by Protest Warrior. They weren't pleased. One of them fainted. James, our new recruit to the Air Force decided to enter the recruiting station just to piss them off. He walked in just as the personnel were leaving. Apparently they must leave if there are protesters. The moonbats, in a stunning display of tolerance and diversity, called him a fascist, Nazi and baby-killer.

Now keeping in mind that it is only the military standing in the way of them being beheaded by a bunch of screaming Wahhabis for the homosexual sex they seem to enjoy so much, you would think the moonbats would welcome new recruits. But no. Their capitulation to the head chopping lunatics seems complete.I carried my sign of the Iraqi lady voter with the purple finger. I was informed by a white-haired moonbat that it wasn't really democracy occurring in Iraq.

Zelda: "What makes you think so?"

Old Moonbat: "40 unelected Sunnis are now included in writing the Constitution."

Zelda: "Who elected our Constitutional Congress?"

He opened and closed his mouth and moved his tongue a little and then said he couldn't argue with fascists. OWNED!!!

But the residents of Galveston Island don't seem to take kindly to moonbats. The recruiting station was flanked by a hair salon and a tattoo parlor. The owner of Bad Boyz Tattoo was a very tall, large man. When we got there, he was standing in front of the moonbats with a gigantic American flag. It should come as no surprise that the moonbats packed it in an hour and a half before the scheduled end time.

We had made up a "Honk To Support The Troops" sign and it lended itself nicely to the demoralization of the moonbats - especially when a hook and ladder honked loud and long. I think between the honking cars, superior debating tactics, and the tattoo owner, their defeat was a foregone conclusion.

So there we were with all our signs and no moonbats. We stood out there for a little while and two members of the armed forces, armed with their beautiful girlfriends, came up and thanked us. One young man and his wife bought us water and shook our hands. We thanked them profusely for their service.

After the last of the moonbats had left in their environmentally unsound hippie-mobiles, the tattoo parlor owner parked his big ass truck there and put out his sign with two gigantic American flags. It was fabulous. It was like spraying Hippie-be-gone.

Definitely a successful mission

Which brings me to our next venture.

Houston's own chapter of Amnesty International decided to ignore the atrocities occurring around the world to focus on that "gulag of our time," Guantanimo Bay, Cuba. Forget that there are actual gulags on that same island, ignored because dear Fidel happens to be a communist. Forget that the U.N. (who called for this little day of protest against "torture" by the U.S.) has actively participated in sexual abuse the world over including the Congo where over 100 children were raped by a U.N. worker. Forget the death of Iraqis by their supporting Saddam's brutal regime. No. They focus on GITMO because of allegations made by TERRORISTS that the Quran was the focal point in a little anti-religious artwork - i.e. flushed down a goddam toilet. Forget that our government offends law-abiding citizens by financing Christ drowned in urine. No. The "gulag of our time" is serving glazed chicken and Quran hammocks. Fuck us. We deserve to lose.

But I do digress.

Houston's own Amnesty International, consisting mostly of aged hippies and youthful wannabes, decided to call attention to the atrocities of the glazed chicken and Quran hammocks of GITMO. Impassioned pleas, made with the whining petulance and surfer-Christ references so indicative of hippie culture dominated the rally. Forget empirical evidence, forget any evidence at all. It was all true because a whiny Muslim, a phony Christian, and a whole slew of atheists said it was.

Listen for yourself. And if you are very quiet, you will hear me shouting in the background. KPFT, the local "progressive" radio station edits the hell out of one of our members, quotes him out of context, and he still manages a better argument.

Amazing.

It was a frustrating day. They have no sense of priority. Babies molested in the Congo, genocide in the Sudan, corruption and child prostitution rampant wherever the U.N. seems to lay it's bloody hands, and they are out there ranting about nothing. No evidence of deaths, no evidence of torture, no solutions for anything, just vague rumor, outright lies, and the twisted wishful thinking of people who hate an administration so much, they would prefer to see our troops die than for Bush's plans to succeed.

We were successful in not allowing them to slander the troops without a calling out. We got to call a few of them racists, and got the best of many arguments, not the least of which was pointing out their rank hypocrisy in maligning the troops while ignoring children being raped in the Congo. But it's like talking to living, breathing, stone walls. Unyielding to common sense and standing firm in their idiocy; logic is wasted on them. Time is wasted on them. Food is wasted on them.